I Think You Blew Him

This week on Curb we analyze some thoughtful themes:

• vehicular fellatio
• vacuum packaging
• second-hand semen
• "I have cancer"
  

"Why can't you drive?"
"Because I have cancer."

"I'm going to dinner tonight...wanna go?"
"Any black people there?"
"No."
"Why would I want to go?"
"Might be someone with cancer...."

Larry: "Why do they call it a job? Is it so hard? A lot of work?"
Jeff: "Well there's the tugging, the sucking, it's a lot of work. I wouldn't want to do it."
Larry: "It is a job. No wonder why they don't like it."

Leon: "You are combined in this shit with me now. We are lego. We're a fucking lego set right now. We are fucking interlocked together. We fucked her."

Loretta: "You got me twisted LD. Give your ass a little taste of chocolate and next thing you know you're cheatin' on me? ...You cheatin' no good bald headed mother fucker! I'm out!"
Auntie Rae: "Fuck you Larry David, that's some bullshit!"

After they leave...
Larry: "They're gone.... So I guess that means you'll be..."
Leon: "Going upstairs eating this fucking Chinese food in my fucking room."

YES! LARRY AND LEON IN THE SAME ROOF. This is going to be epic.

Such a Low Percentage Fruit

Curb had some of the best fruit-related one liners last night:

"Can I tell you something about apricots? You know, one in thirty is a good one. It's such a low percentage fruit."

"You know what? Don't condescend me with your tiny pear."

Leon on room temperature:
"You're my motherfuckin man Larry, but 72°? Sheet. Might as well sleep outside. I'm an 82 man myself. ...You said 68°? Get the fuck out of here. It's all cold and shit. You gotta heat that shit up."

And Funkhouser's crazy sister played by Catherine O'Hara at the dinner party:
"You're serving nothing but lies here! I'm not hungry!"

Finally, Larry's collapse upon hearing Loretta's diagnosis. How awesomely overdramatic was that? It's good to finally have 30 minutes of Larry back.

FUCK YOU LARRY!

Oh man I'm getting excited for the new season of Curb. I just watched the preview episode "It's Not A Reunion Show But It's As Close As You're Gonna Get"that essentially showed the cast coming back and discussing the new season.

Looks like the overall story arc is going to be producing a reunion episode of Seinfeld! I can't wait.

You've Been Burned

Has anyone checked out Burn Notice? You can catch the opening scene of the Pilot here.

The idea of a spy getting burned (aka fired) seemed really interesting at the start. Superspy Michael Westen has some good dialogue throughout the episodes (I love the paused fight sequence comments) but overall he's too cocky.

Every episode has him helping his mom with an errand like "the neighbor got scammed, get her money back" followed by some investigation and amusing investigation techniques. However, that's about all there is. The overall story-arc of his burn notice is given in tiny doses near the end of each episode with "Oooh someone's watching, Michael."

The show is nicely shot though with lots of Miami scenery and close-ups of women. So I don't know...should I keep watching? Apparently it just got renewed for a fourth season soooooo I won't have to worry about it getting cancelled....

Dollhouse Season Two

Holy! Without spoiling too much, let's just say the Dollhouse cast is about to get some seriously familiar faces.

The eventually-incredibly-good show comes back September 25, 2009.

Fall 2009 TV Lineup

I'll just say it: the Fall 2009 lineup kinda sucks.

NBC's Heroes went so sharply downhill after season one I just stopped watching it completely.

Showtime's Dexter will probably be alright. I haven't seen season three yet for some reason. It's sitting there waiting to be watched but something's turning me off from it. Maybe I'm just tired of the premise. With season two investigating himself, I don't know where else the show can go.

Fox's Sons of Anarchy sounds interesting. I may look into this over time. Fringe has also been on my scopes but, being an X-Files veteran, I don't know if I want to venture on another government conspiracy universe.

ABC has something called Flash Forward, some sci-fi about people on Earth getting visions.... That sounds a bit tired even for me. I give it one season before it gets axed.

Then of course we have the classic comedies like The Office and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. When does 30 Rock and South Park come back? :(